Monday 1 February 2010

1/Feb/2010 - The Living Presence.

It has been nearly a month since I've been back from my visit to the Ramanasramam at Tiruvannamalai in India. The sequence of events leading me up to the visit have been outlined earlier in the blog. In a nutshell - there had been a vision, then the research leading upto the place 'seen' in the vision - identifying it as the holy mountain of Arunachala -and the confirmation of the path leading upto Bhagvan Ramana's samadhi at the ashram...a culmination brought about by his very Grace - for who am I?

Every aspect of my 'Vision' came to be so - in reality! The mountain path that I 'saw' was the same that I walked upon the holy mountain Arunachala, that leads towards the Virupaksha cave, the cave that Bhagvan lived and meditated in for many years. The huge boulders seemed to me to be the very ones - that he sat on! It occured to me that the 'face' I saw carved on the mountain in my 'vision' was the same as the one carved in the Elephanta caves near Mumbai to depict Lord Shiva. According to the Puranas (and Bhagvan himself) this mountain is supposed to be the direct manifestation of Lord Shiva and the oldest of the five 'Jyotirlingas'. ( I had NO knowledge about the existence of such a mountain or these legends prior to my vision or even know anything about Ramana Maharshi or his teachings, or where he lived or of his life.) The elephant that I had seen suddenly coming up on me - came just as suddenly upon me, in the Arunachelashwara temple (Lord Shiva's temple) just as I was about to enter the main temple, containing the sanctum sanctorum and the main deity. And the priest there lead us directly into the presence of the inner diety - without having solicited it, thought of it - we had 'Darshan'!

Such had been the unmistakeable power of that vision - so insistent was its call - that I was compelled to find all, in fact I was guided by grace and lead directly to the 'Real' place.

Bhagvan and Arunachala had called.

It feels to me, not just to be a culmination of the journey beginning with the vision but a culmination of the journey that began at birth, as if everything was leading upto this particular point. What has changed? Nothing really and yet everything has. The world is at it is but the prism through which it is viewed has changed. There was faith before but now there is Surrender. The world is real but not real enough in that the importance attached to all things is known to be temporary and transient. The search is for THAT that is ever-permanent and unchanging. I am far, far from Knowing but am content that at least the journey has begun, the path is clearer and the faith surer that he who put me here will guide me there.

This isn's about 'A God' to be prayed to, a God somewhere sitting high up in the heavens, separated from us, to be remembered when we are afraid, when we want or when we suffer. A God meteing out rewards and punishments to our 'good' and 'bad' behaviours as defined by societies at any given time a society. It is about discovering who I Am? that I AM!

HE- is a living presence in my life, Grace, that is ever pervading, in the here and now. The joy and bliss that suffuse my heart, just looking at his picture, is confirmation enough to me of his Loving, Living Presence. Whether HE and I remain separate as in duality, as is the case, now or whether there is finally a time when the Knowing of non-duality arises and the separation dissolves when the time arrives, whether now or after innumerable life-times, knowing that it is through his Grace alone, is enough! In fact Everything is Grace manifest!

Nothing matters any more but to carry on this journey, as for the time it takes - what does it matter? I am glad that I realise that I am wise to the extent that I know I am foolish!

Worldly acquistions, achievements, ambition and success are no longer centre - stage; The destructive play of Ego and self-importance is so evident and consequently there is no more getting swept in the currents of Ego and the labels it attaches to itself and others are no longer valid. Such peace! such freedom!

No longer is there a need to drag out the past - pain and bring it into the present; no longer is there a projection for the future, the futility of both is so apparent! I am far far far from enlightenment and perfection - am no Jnani and certainly not perfect and have not yet reached the level of ultimate 'jnana' but am content that the journey to finding out WHO AM I? has begun....