21/Nov/09 - Kundalini?? (1)

Over the last two years - there has been an occurence of certain phenomena, symptoms that seem to match in description to what has been classically described - as the 'Kundalini ' awakening. I am still not entirely sure that it is what it is, perhaps it could just be 'Pranotthana', an increase of the Prana in the body prior to an actual awakening, which is often said to mimic an actual awakening. Certainly my symptoms aren't as severe as those described by Gopi Krishna in his books. But they are certainly 'things' that I can't ignore, because they are so out of the realm of what we would describe as 'normal' and that they are so 'real', not something that my imagination has conjured up!

The signs and symptoms started off as follows-
- A violent rocking of the spine whenever I meditated, it was a rocking that began at the base of the spine, and made me move back and forth and sometimes sideways. I could stop it if I willed it to stop and if I opened my eyes and stopped concentrating or meditating.

- Soon I began to feel energy movements all over my body, most of the times this was accompanied by intense bliss and intoxication - almost as if drunk! This bliss could be so intense that it was almost like experiencing a body orgasm without any thought of sex. Sometimes there actually were orgasms - again without any sexual thoughts whatsoever. This still continues to happen but to a much lesser degree now.

- Then sometimes, the energy seemed to get stuck in the head, generating intense pressure from within, as if trying to get out. This caused a great deal of discomfort - but it felt different to any type of headache - a tension headache or even a migraine. Later I learnt to lessen the pressures somewhat by concentrating on my heart. The energy seemed to flow into the heart lessening the pressure in the head and sometimes even by eating. I presume it was then utilised in the act of digestion itself. This seems to tie in without Gopi Krishna's experience, where he stressed the importance of eating properly and the overall effect on energy.

- There were times, when I would feel very irritable and loose my temper often, this was a direct result of feeling strange 'crawling' sensations on my body - that is the closest word I can find to describe the sensations, but that's not quite how it was. And aches and pains all over the body, flu like symptoms, without any cold or cough or fever. The 'crawling' has almost disappeared but the aches and pains have remained. And I am trying to resolve whether there are any medical reasons behind it just to eliminate all possibilities. I do not want to blindly believe that this is the result of the Kundalini. During this time I have developed problems with my thyroid and I am taking thyroxine to remedy it. It is often been documented (from whatever I have read on the net itself and many books) that CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) is often a result of Kundalini.

- I have had a phase - when I experienced severe heat flushes in my body in the middle of winter( and I am a person who feels constantly cold!) so this was very strange indeed. I would have night sweats and extreme heat in my head, palms, spine. I even went to the doctor to check whether I was experiencing menopausal symptoms! The doctor eliminated that possibility completely. And these symptoms stopped as abruptly as they had begun.

- Often as I lie down quietly in bed, just before falling asleep, I have found that beautiful 'bubbles' of extremely blissful energy blows up from thebase of my spine to my neck. This energy is specifically concentrated in my spine is not 'scattered' all over body. It follows a very clear path and my spine often 'jerks' as if having received an electric shock, albeit and extremely mild one. And often I wondered how this could possibly be 'Kundalini' which has been described variously as a 'roar' up the spine with extreme heat.

- And then one day - it happened! This laser like spasm of intense heat shooting up in a concentrated beam up my spine but it stopped at thebase of my neck as if unable to proceed any further, as if it had encountered a 'block' and fallen down again! I felt as if I had been scalded by a hot liquid over my spine. Next day when I looked at my back, I found a large boil on my spine, just at the base of my neck. It certainly looked like the 'real' thing if only for a second. Just as well it didn't last longer or go further - god alone knows what would have happened and whether I could have handled 'IT'. This never happened again, though the pleasant 'bubbling' in the spine has continued and I am grateful, that the goddess is giving me only as much as I can handle.

- Then came the phase of intense 'kriyas'. Often when I meditate or even simply concentrate, energy in mybody moves and gently but insistently pushes me into various postures, yogic postures and asanas. These are fluid and graceful - if I attempt to do these on my own, I am simply unable to do them, and certainly there is no grace what so ever!

(to be contd...)